It's the middle of the night, 4.12am to be precise and I can't sleep. It has become a normal routine for me recently.
There are so many things going on in my life now and singing wise, it's good..i mean things are looking up and i'm supposed to be occupied but I feel so...empty. I guess i'm feeling the strain of trying to please everyone....i need to be alone for a while..wait, i'm already constantly alone, aren't I? I need a break..
And you're constantly on my mind recently..whenever i am down, I really wish so hard that you're still here with me, I miss you very much. And it scares me to know that it's getting harder and harder to remember your voice, cause it's been so long.
I know I should have treasured the times with you more, I know I could have been a better listener and company, I know I could have showed my love for you more often..then. But I guess i missed my chance long time ago and I need to tell you tt it's the greatest regret in my life. Human only learn how to treasure love ones after losing them, i'm just so sorry i gotta learn the hard way.
You need to know how sorry i am still, after 9 years. I hope you r well wherever you are cause you have been the greatest. If given a second chance, I would be a better listener, companion and daughter.
I wanna tell you I miss you so much and I've never told you this but I love you very much, Mom.
1 comment:
Luckily (or unluckily) my Dad died when I was 8 so I do not have a strong memory of him. Although this is sad but it is also kind of lucky for me because I did not have a chance to create a strong attachment to him and thus need not go through the pain of losing and missing him.
However the lack of a father did wreak havoc in my life after I came out and this went on for a few years. A very depressing part of my life. That was not due to losing and missing him per se but what could have been if he were still around.
As for your missing your Mum, I hope you are feeling better. It's been a while since we've chatted. We all feel alone at times. One trick is to set future goals and work towards them.
I don't know if you are starting to regret your decision in pursuing singing full-time but if you are, it is not too late to change paths. You are still young and at least you've told yourself you have given it a try.
Take care.
Post a Comment